How to start a healthy relationship

How To Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Spouse

Building a healthy relationship with that person needs a lot of effort and dedication from both you – and in this post, I will be sharing keys to build a healthy relationship with your spouse.

You know your relationship is healthy when you still feel the connection you once had for your spouse.

You can know the tips for building strong bonds with your spouse and enjoy the benefits of a healthy relationship.

10 Tips for Building Healthy Relationships

One needs to be dedicated, understanding, patient, and committed if you want to build a healthy relationship.

Below are 10 proven ways on how to build a strong healthy relationship with your spouse.

1. Stop Being Suspicious

Nobody wants a partner that’s suspicious of whatever they do. If you are always suspicious of your spouse, you will unconsciously become a nag. Similarly, jealousy is not healthy in a relationship.

Don’t be overprotective always wanting to know their whereabouts, go through there phone, who they are hanging out with, etc.

To build a healthy relationship you must learn to trust your spouse and not always monitor their movement. With that, they won’t feel choked and restricted which may lead to fights and quarrels that will affect your relationship negatively.

2. Honesty:

Being honest is very essential in building a healthy relationship. You want your spouse to always trust and believe you because this is someone you will probably spend the rest of your life with. Likewise, your spouse also wants you to feel the same about them.

Honesty goes beyond just telling the truth, therefore, you have to be open and not withhold any information from each other.

Similarly, make sure you address anything that’s bothering you. For instance, if your spouse tends to do something that pisses you off make sure to tell them. It could eventually boil over to resentment and arguments if you keep it to yourself.

Your spouse is supposed to be your greatest support. Open up and tell them your secret hopes, dreams, fears and other things that you keep hidden. Be vulnerable to each other and this will go a long way to help build a healthy relationship between you and your spouse.

3. Compromise:

Compromising is also an important component to build a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Every individual has their dreams and aspirations, different upbringing and temperament. For two to become one, you have to reach a mutual concession about things that will serve as a hindrance to your relationship.

Let go of somethings that will not be beneficial to a healthy relationship. Learns to adjust so as to accommodate one another.

Compromising can be difficult especially when emotions are on the high side. Letting your emotions rule you can put a strain in your relationship, therefore you should let go of things that are not worth fighting over.

Even if you feel you are on the right side, learn to let go to avoid the stress and frustration it will bring into your relationship.

Similarly, it also makes your relationship stronger and healthy if you both set aside your needs and concede to each other.

Therefore, you should also learn to compromise so you can work together as a team to improve not just your relationship but yourselves.

4. Set Aside Your Pride

Pride is of different forms. Setting aside your pride means doing away with that unreasonable conceit of one’s own superiority in some aspects over others such as beauty, talent, wealth, rank, etc.

This manifests itself in lofty airs, distancing oneself, being reserved and often times showing contempt to your spouse.

If you are serious with your spouse and you want to build a healthy relationship with him/her, you have to set aside that prideful aspect of you. Nobody wants to be looked down upon or seen as unworthy.

If you truly want to be with your spouse work on yourself and embrace your spouse for who they are.

5. Respect and accept each other

Honour, admire, have a good opinion and high regard for your spouse. When you do that, you will respect and accept each other for your individual uniqueness.

You want to build a healthy relationship with someone you love and you don’t respect or accept them? – Is that even possible?. Evaluate your definition of love again. Love is acceptance and several books that teach on love will say the same thing.

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Loving someone is respecting and accepting the person wholeheartedly. If you are always nitpicking and complaining about your spouse there is bound to be a rift in the relationship.

You are too short, fat, slim, tall, your laugh sounds weird, your nose is too wide, etc. It’s not a way of loving someone.

Constant complaining about those things and more about your spouse will make them have low self-esteem and want to change their genetic makeup to please you.

Learn to control your emotions when angry and not yell at each other because doing that will make you likely to say things that are hurtful and it cannot be taken back. Calmly and respectfully settle whatever differences you might encounter.

Compromising does not mean you have to alter your biological makeup to please a spouse. That is how you look before they met you. If they are ready to build a healthy relationship with you and spend their days with you, then they will accept and love you the way you are.

6. Listen to each other

Be it at the initial stage of your relationship or you are already married, always give each other a listening ear.

Listening is not just hearing what your spouse has to say but giving each other your attention, accepting advice from one another and to agree with each other.

For instance, your spouse might tell you that something you are doing is bothering them and you feel its not a big deal. However, little things add up and when you persist in doing that, it could lead to bigger trust and intimacy issues.

Always listen to each other and try to work things out together really fast. Always make an effort to meet each other’s needs and build a healthy relationship to have a loving and peaceful home.

7. Spend Quality Time With Each Other

During the early stage of a relationship, several couples spend a good time with each other. They go out on a date, shopping, hang out with friends, play with each other, etc.

But along the line, after marriage or because of familiarity, they tend to gradually drift and their relationship eventually dies an untimely death.

You need to reserved quality time unconditionally and completely for your spouse. No matter what happens or how busy you are, make sure you always leave that slit open in your schedule for your spouse.

Hang out with each other, enjoy each other’s presence and company, enjoy being together, learn more about each other, listen to each other.

A relationship is a continuous process. You get to know more about each other every day. It is not a must you go out on a date. You could just chill out with each other at home.

8. Surprise and romance your spouse

How can you build a healthy relationship with your spouse without romance and surprises?.

Romance is love which is pure and beautiful. Building a healthy relationship with your spouse without an element of surprise or romance is impossible because it is crucial.

Don’t stick to a particular routine. Be diverse and keep each other guessing. Think of ways to surprise and wow each other. You don’t have to surprise each other always with gifts. You could go on a vacation, do something exciting that you and your spouse wouldn’t normally do. But it has to be fun and exciting.

You could just take a day off from work to spend time with your spouse. You could take sick leave if you are an employee.

Even after marriage keep it up. This is what makes a relationship interesting and loving. Even if it is not as often as it was before marriage, just keep it going!.

Romance each other by flirting with each other. Turn on the charm on each other, make eye contact, smile at your spouse, use romantic words and body language, lean on each other, increase physical contact, etc.

Related: The importance of Romance in a Relationship

Physical contact is very important in intimacy. It makes you feel desired, comfortable and closer to your partner.

Physical contact does not have to be sex; it could be holding hands, snuggling, embracing, kissing or any kind of affectionate act.

Your spouse might be the shy type or worried that you don’t also want it but probably wants physical contact with you as much as you do. Don’t stress over it and just initiate it. It will help you both feel closer to one another and this will build a healthy relationship between you two.

9. Make time for intimacy

As a married couple, it could be overwhelming to balance your work life with your family life. Especially if you have kids, it can become more daunting.

Always make time for your ‘alone time’ with your spouse. If you have to, schedule time for intimacy/sex. You can drop your kids at a babysitter if they are still little or take them to someone close to you to play. That will buy you some alone time with your spouse.

Intimacy isn’t just a one-time thing. You will need to try very hard to make time for it every week or how often your spouse needs it.

Have a mutually satisfying sex life and always communicate to your spouse what you like or don’t like.

Learn to put a spark in your bedroom activity with your spouse. Be willing to explore new things in the bedroom with your spouse.

Though, it doesn’t mean putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation. You and your spouse have boundaries and it is expected that you both respect these boundaries.

10. Do Not Be Selfish With Your Compliments And Appreciate Each Other

Another drainage to building a healthy relationship with your spouse is withholding compliments. You get used to seeing each other always and you don’t feel the need to say…”baby you look good, I love your haircut or you look nice in that dress”.

It doesn’t cost you anything to compliment your spouse. You have to lavish praise on each other.

Always appreciate each other’s effort no matter how little you think they are.

Similarly, always make an effort to express your gratitude by saying ‘thank you’ when your spouse does something for you.

Letting your partner know you are grateful for their efforts will make them feel appreciated. Thank them for taking you out or thank them for making out time for you.

Always say ‘ I love you’. This three-letter word goes a long way to build a healthy relationship. Don’t take it for granted that you love each other and then stopped staying it.

Be supportive of each other’s dreams and goals. Every step does count in trying to build a healthy relationship with your spouse.


Love yourself and appreciate yourself then you will be able to do the same to others. early signs of a good relationship

You can get frustrated and fed up in an unhealthy relationship because of the signs you are seeing, nevertheless if this is dealt with early enough with these tips you can still have a healthy relationship.

Therefore, if you are going through a tough time and can’t seem to make heads of your relationship, talk to a counselor or a therapist to help you work through the issues and improve your relationship.

Finally, thank God for your spouse and always pray for them. Pray together as a family and put God first in your relationship.

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